How It's Going

People have been asking me how's married life.  It's kind of funny that people ask newlyweds that question so often instead of asking folks who have been married for decades because honestly, it's been all of a month and more often than not the answer is simply 5 letters- GREAT. 

However...

It is possible to feel the same but yet different all at once?  That you're still the same person, but that you've taken on new identities and familial roles?  That you cook the same food, but somehow using brand new dishes and silverware makes it taste just a bit more flavorful?  That you fill out the same paperwork, but get a thrill out of checking off new boxes?  Because that's how married life has felt for me.  But to sum it up for folks who want a simple answer to a not so simple question, I just say "great!"

Ask me again in 5 years and I may say IT'S BEEN AN ADVENTURE TO SAY THE LEAST.  In 10 years it might be I NEED TO BE MORE PATIENT.  In 25 WE'RE IN A GOOD PLACE.  And 50- yes, there will be a 50! :), I hope it will be SIMPLE (but not BORING).

But one thing at a time.  Year 1, here we go!

Miss Nguyen for the last time!

Countdowns & Check Offs

It feels like this whole year has been one huge countdown and check off list.  Both of those things have come with senses of accomplishments and many moments of "oh crap how I am ever going to get to K if I haven't done A, B, and C and do I even have time for X, Y, and Z??"

But with a work-week left to go (I measure my time in 5 and 2 day increments!) I feel like I'm finally in a good place both productively and mentally.

Productivity-wise, there's only a few things to be check off the list, and they're mostly things that we can't do until their proper time.  It seems silly to wash our beverage dispensers too early cus dust will probably make their way back in anyway.  I'm excited to do flowers (though it's an ambitious and daunting task), but that's not until Thursday.  But the programs, favors, seating chart, table numbers/menu, games, gift bags, slideshow, guestbook, kiddie activities, bathroom basket, and all my other zillion DIY tasks are between 80-100ish percent done and just need to be executed.  And the photobooth programming is finally done!  We would have never been able to do it w/o my cousin.  I'm so grateful he gave us so much of his time, software programming can seriously be a pain in the butt.  I'm also thankful for my BMs.  They have lent me so much from their knowledge, wedding items, advice, a sympathetic ear, to their time, etc, etc.  This wedding is a joint effort and though it's our day, we share it with everyone else as well. 

I also can't say enough about how much of a great team that Jerry and I have made in this process.  We have grown stronger together in this year because we have had to make some very important decisions both logistically and fiscally.  Jerry doesn't take me on romantical dates every week, or buys me "just because gifts", or tells me that he loves me on public forums (I don't think that's anyone's business anyway, and who really cares about someone else's love?).  I can honestly say that instead, he has pitched 50% equally in planning and executing our wedding, and let's be frank, that's 45% more than what most grooms do.  Most grooms just show up.  And they get delegated to planning the honeymoon.  Not him.  And I would rather that he help me with planning weddings, changing diapers, and holding me when I'm old and arthritic because I think those things are the most romantic gestures of all.  Every couple is different, and this is how we operate.  And I'm glad he's on my team because I honestly can't imagine a more fitting and caring partner and "teammate."  Oh and I guess he's my roomie for life! 

Mentally- I've lost my shit a few times, but overall I've kept my cool when things don't go my way and have definitely savored moments when things do go my way :)  This whole process has brought me many headaches and frustrations, and sometimes I forget that this day is about me and Jerry celebrating our love, and having our families merge together.  It's easy to lose track of the big picture when you're bogged down with details.  I haven't taken enough time to reflect and I'm a teeny bit sad because this coming week is going to fly by so quickly!  I have to work half of this week so maybe if I find myself drifting off in meetings I'll do my reflecting then. :P  I also wrote my vows 2 weeks ago and they were easily one of the most effortless tasks I had to do so far.  While most of the wedding planning has been for our guests' enjoyment and entertainment, I wrote my vows directly for Jerry and I am SO very excited to say them!

Countdown wise- thanks to the knot.com and projectwedding.com, I've been alerted that it's one year, 6 months, a few months, 100 days, 99 days, a couple of months, a MONTH?!, a few weeks, a couple weeks, OMG 10 DAYS, yikes it's single digits now!, a week, and now a work-week left to go.

Someone pinch me now :)

What I Learned, Part 1

It's been a year since this.

Booking our venue pretty much kicked off our planning.

During this year:

I learned what was important and mattered.

I learned what wasn't important, and still put effort into it. 

I learned that it's not how much you spend...it's how you spend it.

I learned that you can't cook Peking Duck with Steamed Buns outdoors.

I learned that it's very hard to narrow down to 75 of your favorite pics of all time from a hard drive containing 48 GB aka 23000 images.

I learned that most of the pictures I have from college are inappropriate and compromising, or sized under 25KB, none of which are useful for a big screen slideshow in front of my nearest and dearest.

I learned that the internet is a curse AND a blessing.

I learned that not all printers print what is on the page...sigh.

I'm still learning.

18 days to go!! Yikes!

Accessory Twins

While we were visiting my family in Toronto, my cousin's BFF noted that Jerry and I have a lot of the same stuff.  Same brand/style sunglasses, laptops, phones, etc.  I didn't really give her comment much thought then.

Fast forward a couple weeks.

Jer and I are packing for separate trips the next few days- me to Sacramento for work, and him to the Bay Area for his bachelor party.  And I realized that what she said was so true!

 Samsonite Spinners

Merrells

Oakleys

Straw hats

 Hard drives

Our other accessory twins include our white Macbooks (Jerry has a cool sticker on it though), cell phones (mine has a case for clumsy people on it), and Nike running tights (mine is size S and his is M so that's how they don't get mixed up).  Our wedding bands are also identical in style- except that his is gold and mine is platinum.  We also have the same credit card (but separate accts).  And I also really like his Nike dri-fit no-show socks so I started stealing them for myself.  The unisex market totally caters to folks like us!

However, I think we draw the line at sharing toothbrushes.  (Anyone get my HIMYM reference?)

I Used To Be So Good

At responding to emails promptly, that is.

I've always been a terrible responder to texts and missed calls and still am, but I used to be so on the ball when it came to responding to emails.

I blame my phone and email.  Evil.

I really love having email access on my phone, because it enables me to read emails right away.  Except I hate responding to emails on my phone, so I tell myself that I'll respond "later." Sometimes later is 17 days later.  I feel like such a jerk b/c an old friend of mine emailed me about something major going on in her life.  And I barely responded to her...tonight tomorow. (I'm incredibly sleepy right now!)  Ugh.  I feel heartless.

Gmail and other google products have really become a major part of my life and I can't imagine running my life w/o them.  Except ever heard of "too much of a good thing"?  I currently have nearly 7000 emails in my inbox, and no, I have not done this thing call "archiving".  So my inbox is one major mess.  Lately I can't remember if I've replied to an email and by the time I remember it already got pushed all the way down, sometimes to the next page.  For example, I had sworn that I confirmed to my friend about lunch, and to my MUA about my trial, and I promptly forgot about them.  Suddenly, I get this vague recollection that I'm sposed to have lunch tomorrow and my trial is in a week, and I hadn't confirmed the dates/times for either.  Big fat whoops.

30 days until the wedding.  And I just realized my next free weekend is Oct 23.  I really can't wait for the day when I don't have to hear the word wedding!!

27

My birthday came and went without much ado. 

 Cupcakes from Hannah in San Jose (yes, my colleague flew these babies down!)

I had a bruschetta craving and Jerry wanted pasta & clams so we threw together an impromptu dinner.


I didn't make any fun plans this year (and no, I wasn't expecting Jerry to surprise me either as we've been quite busy), but at the same time, I didn't feel a sense of dread at turning a year older.  I feel like I've accomplished a lot for my age so far, and dare I say that I'm currently where I want to be in my life?

For as long as I can remember I was always itching to get to the next stage.  I didn't want to be in middle school, I already wanted to go to HS.  I couldn't wait to get out of HS so I could escape the confines of the El Monte bubble and go to college.  During college I was tired of trying to figure out my "career path" b/c I just wanted to work already.  Once I realized the limitations of a BA in my field I wanted to go to grad school.  And those who know me well know that I couldn't WAIT to get the hell out of dodge aka grad sch!

But as of right now, I feel like I have no need to hurry to the next level as I have in the past.  I can sit still and just breathe for the first time in 27 years.  Big picture wise, I don't have to worry about many aspects of my life for a while.  I can actually enjoy the current day-to-day and not be anxious to jump start the next stage (which is most likely starting a family).  After putting so much pressure on myself to achieve, achieve, achieve my whole life, it's a strange feeling for me, this idea of being complacent and accomplished.  I can actually enjoy the benefits of my hard work, how about that! 

I'm sure I'll be itching for change as I near the big 3-0, but for the time being, I'm excited about the next 2-3 years and what adventures and lessons they'll bring!

Divide and Conquer

I vaguely remember the days when we planned this shindig together.  You know, while holding hands and spoon feeding each other and crap?  (Kidding.)  Now that we're getting closer and closer to September (yikes!) we're doing some of the tasks separately.  Divide and conquer.  That's our motto.

I went to the flower district myself b/c Jerry can't tell the difference between ranunculus and a dahlia.  No matter how many times I've shared something via google reader that says "AREN'T THESE DAHLIAS SO PRETTY?!"  Luckily, bridesmaid S shares the same joy in flowers that I do. :)

Jerry went to get his tux rental by himself.  I will admit right now that I know nothing about menswear and had already rendered myself useless.  I never, ever look at the groom when I go to weddings, so I never notice if they are wearing a suit or a tux.  And did you know there's like 50 million kinds of white shirts out there, ranging from Brad Pitt a la Meet Joe Black to Jon Gosselin...a la douche?  And don't get me started on cuff links.  No clue.  Well, let me tell you, after this wedding I will be looking at what the grooms and his crew wear much more closely now!

I like the creative licenses we take on our respective wedding projects.  Jerry designed and built the photobooth by himself, and I'm in charge of anything that goes through a printer.  We can make executive decisions on things and then report back to each other on our progress.   Don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed some of the tasks we've done together (venue walkthrough with our photogs, getting our marriage license).  However, there are times when we're doing something together where it ends up being a big fat waste of time.  Makes me wish I could get those 4 hours of my life back when I went white shirt hunting with Jerry, and I bet he wants those 4 hours back when I dragged him to go cake tasting.  We could have easily split up to do each task but we didn't.  Cus even people who keep multiple calendars make scheduling boo-boos! :P  

We've had some rough patches while planning, but we're all works in progress, aren't we? :)

Licensed to Wed

Not all courthouses are built alike.  Ours was not fancy or traditional looking.  (I think the San Francisco courthouse is so nice looking!)  But it was less than 10 minutes away from our house. Score. 

We look happy here, but we're really breathing a sigh of relief.

Side bar: It's a major pain in the butt to plan a wedding when you start a new job b/c you have like zero PTO hours.  The only reason I worked half day that day was because I worked a 14 hour day the week prior.  And certain wedding tasks you can only do M-F between 9-5...which is basically working hours. 

Anyways, Jerry's meeting ran 1.5 hours late, and so when he came home we basically shoved lunch down our throats and jammed it out of home.  Got there, and found parking, but turned out that it was metered only.  And we had zero quarters.  I ran inside the building to find a place that would give me change.  Got directed around the building to get change.  I get $5 worth of quarters, and when I come back, Jer reparked to a spot adjacent to us that had an hours worth of quarters already.  Yay, I guess.  Except I got all sweaty from running around.  We get inside.  Turns out there's metal detectors.  Jerry has to go back to the car to put away his belt and swiss army knife.  We both finally make it up to the 6th floor or something like that.  We stand in the line that says birth/death/marriage certificates.  Except on Fridays, you stand in a different line for marriage licenses.  Ugh.  So we re-stand in a different line.  By now we're both grumpy and we just want to get our paperwork done and go home.

And then, I finally start to notice my surroundings.  And I see couples around us actually waiting to get married.  Right then and there.  A lady in black with purple flowers with her soon to be husband greeting friends and family.  A not-sure-what-kind-of-Asian-she-is pretty girl with a European-looking guy in mismatched pinstriped separates who are both alone, not a single witness in sight.  A younger girl in an actual wedding dress!  And I start to get misty-eyed.  And I stopped being grumpy.   Nothing like warm fuzzy feelings to get out of a funk!  Finally, it was our turn and the process was very quick and smooth.

Yay.  Another thing off our list. 

We posted a pic on Facebook and people are congratulating us...except we're not married yet!  They should call it a marriage permit...like a learner's driving permit haha. 

Ants are Annoying

We had an ant problem a while back and then they went away.  Lately we've been finding them in random places.  They aren't even interested in food!  We've been pretty diligent about not keeping food out anymore (I left a bag of cashew chews unsealed...oops), and yet we still find them in our bathroom upstairs and on the carpet downstairs. Weird, they must be scouting.  One even crawled out of Jer's laptop.  It's not like they swarm either.  It's one or two here and there.

Hopefully some ant bait from Home Depot will do the trick.  Come one, poison all!