Selective Sharing

There's the bride that involves and immerses her bridal party deep into the planning process.  There's the bride that constantly keeps her BMs in the loop about every single detail.  There's the bride that asks for feedback and opinions about every decision to be made.

I'm not her.

I don't find it necessary to let my groomsmen know that the ribbon for their boutonnieres are going to be 3/4 in wide and if that's okay, or if I should go 7/8 in instead.  To me, it's not prudent to spend my bridesmaids' time on debates of what type of bustle I should get.  I couldn't imagine sending out a poll to figure out how many minutes & seconds our slide show should be.  I don't want to even begin to try to coordinate the schedules of 6 girls who live in different regions of the west coast just so they could watch me try on dresses.  Ideally, would I have liked to involve them all in the purchase of my dress?  Would I have liked to share a "Say Yes to the Dress" moment with all my girls in the same room?  Of course.  But let's be realistic.  The majority of wedding planning is not doing cute things and having girly moments where we all hold hands and giggle.  When it comes down to it, there's more to wedding planning than just shooting the breeze over wedding magazines.   

A lot of wedding planning is really personal research and just plain work.  Yes, there's the cute girly stuff, but behind every girly detail there's a lot of elbow grease.  I have been asking our bridal party for help here and there, but I try to limit my requests to a minimum so we can give them the opportunity to delegate their time towards finding a dress and planning my bridal shower and our bach parties.  That's the part where I want to "do cute things and have girly moments where we all hold hands and giggle!"  At this stage of our planning process I can't imagine myself bothering our bridal party with questions about hotel blocks and the merits of a 1 bedroom suite versus a 2 bedroom trio.  I don't think any of them care if we choose 60" rounds over 48" tables.  I'd rather they focus on stuff like finding a cute dress or deciding on whether they should mimic the Hangover for Jer's bach party.  We'll take care of the rest and delegate as needed. 

 Image via istockphoto

Because I have the luxury of being engaged simultaneously with several other of my friends, and also because Jerry is more involved than the typical groom, I've been able to go to them to exchange minute and less-than-thrilling details.  Jerry has seen our site of course- he will understand when I ask if x number of lanterns are a good number to buy.  I can't expect my BMs to all travel to my site before the wedding so I can ask them if I should string up 5 or 10 lanterns over the dancing area.  They've never seen it before- how would they know?  My friend has the same photog as me- we're able to do package comparison.  Honestly, if I talked to my BMs about that, I'd get a pat on the back and a "good for you that you booked him for such a great deal" response.  But because my friend is in "photographer research mode" we're able to discuss albums and who the second shooter is and what not.  There are 3 of us who booked the same MUA team (which I will blog about after my trial!).  I've been able to connect with them about their trials and what not.  You get the picture. 

It's not to say that I don't value the opinions or taste of my bridal party, (in fact they have been an excellent resource and have great style), but I value their time even more.  I know that many brides find their bridal party instrumental for every step of the way, and I think that's perfectly fine too. We all have to find the perfect balance and as Tim Gunn says: "Make it work!"  This system works for me- I don't get too many conflicting opinions (honestly, what is the point of asking an opinion if you aren't going to go in that direction? but with 11 people in our bridal party, we're bound to get diff opinions and someone will be hurt if we don't take theirs), and I can spare them from mundane details.  There will be a time for us to involve them (note, there will be a flurry of activity the week of our nuptials, I guarantee it!  Anyone raise their hand if they choose to not hire a florist, hehe!), but I'm choosing the path of selective sharing for the time being.

How do you approach the involvement process for your bridal party?  What system works for you?

Cook's Tortas

I have a secret love affair with sandwiches.  The banh mi will always have a special place in my heart...I mean....tummy...as my most favorite type of sandwich ever.  However, the torta from Cook's Tortas in Monterey Park has now joined the shawarma and döner kebab I had in Germany, any sandwich with dirty sauce from Ike's Place in SF, the pastrami sandwich from Carnegie Deli in NYC (the first time with BM Nancy, not so much the second time with Jerry, don't know why), the media noche from Portos in Glendale, and the Godfather from Bay Cities Deli in SM as some of the best sandwiches I've ever had the pleasure of eating.  I've had my share of Subway, Quiznos, and Togos (Italian, no cheese or onions, thanks!) and I've spread many a jar of peanut butter/Nutella/jam/mayo on vehicles such as country potato, whole wheat, Weber's white, whole grain, 12 grain, buttermilk, etc, but they pale in comparison.  So, I leave it up to the experts.  Enter Cook's Tortas.

The menu changes here and there.  I believe some favorites are offered frequently if not everyday (until they run out, as you can see on the second column to the right).

Jerry got #10

Other part of the menu, sans sandwiches. 

I love me some aguas frescas!  I hope the next time I come back they'll offer something with lime or watermelon.  I read what other refreshments Yelpers have had in the past and it sounds yummy!

It's HUGE.  And beware #10 is spicy.  But the pork is oh so tender.

With each sandwich, you can pick a side.  Red fries (sweet potato fries) are the clear winner here.

Pineapple orange.  It cut through the spiciness of Jer's sandwich perfectly.

I have a teeny tiny complaint- my chorizo was slightly dry, could have used more of the white sauce.  :(  But other than that, I enjoyed the mojo-ish potato slices inside the sandwich and the bread was so yummy and chewy! 

I didn't want to use a knife and fork to eat my sandwich (it's hands-on food!) so I got sauce and stuff all over my chin, mouth, and fingers.  So worth it.  We'll be back!
Cook's Tortas
1944 Atlantic Blvd
Monterey Park, CA 91754
(323) 278-3536

www.cookstortas.com

Any suggestions for yummy sandwich places that I should try out? 

Imagine That This is a Photo Strip

Jerry was setting up our camera on a tripod for a family photo.   While doing some test shots for exposure and placement my cousins decided to ham it up.  I can only imagine how funny and awesome our real photobooth pictures will turn out at the wedding! :)

Have a good rest of the weekend!  And if anyone knows of a program (not Photoshop and runs on Mac) that can turn jpgs into a photo strip let me know!

Designing the Ring, Part 3

The first step in designing my ring was choosing the center stone.  This was the order we prioritized:

Cut
Color
Carat
Clarity

 

Image via Khulsey

Cut was the most important to us because no matter how sizeable a stone is, if the cut is bad then the quality  just goes down the drain.  And it just doesn't SPARKLE!  In fact, many smaller stones with ideal cuts are more expensive than larger stones with lousy cuts.  Of course other things factor into the total price, so it's really about finding the perfect combination of things that matter to you personally.  But I can't emphasize enough how important the cut is!

 Image via Conway Jewellers

During our second visit, Liberty Diamonds showed us 3 loose stones to choose from based on our budget and our 4 C priority.  We were able to check them out via a loupe and also the sarin machine.  So cool.  I don't remember what the specs of each one was anymore, but here's mine!

Ideal cut, F color, 0.81 C, VS1

I was also able to describe how I wanted my ring designed.  It helped to show our designer Cristina pictures of what I liked and didn't like.  We discussed in detail down to the size of the taper and the pave stones.  Based on my descriptions she was able to do a quick sketch.  Then Jerry put down a deposit.  At that moment, I was thinking oooo mmm geee it's really going to happen! 

We came back a week later (visit #3) to see the wax mold. 

That was pretty neat!

I don't think we really made any modifications.  All in all, I was very happy with our customer service!  I highly recommend designing your own ring if you are detail oriented and want to be involved in the process.  Since I'm wearing this sucker for the rest of my life, I decided that it was more important for me to get what I wanted instead of being surprised. 

Here's the final product!

Our bands came in a Blue Nile box, so I'm using it here.  Here's some more artsy fartsy pics.  That's enough ring madness,  I'll post on our bands later this year!

Holiday Wknd Brain Dump

Friday:

Coming off the worst week of work ever all I wanted to do was sit my ass on the couch and watch the opening ceremonies.  I knew that the Beijing opening ceremonies couldn't be topped but I didn't think this one would be so boring either.  I think I fell asleep after the 10th country marched out.  Jerry told me to go to bed but I kept insisting that I'd stay awake.  I think the next time I woke up the US came out, but then I fell asleep when Canada came out, which was immediately after?  I then proceeded to sleep through the dancing, the dancing, more dancing, and more dancing (how did I know?  I re-watched it the next morning).  Then I woke up and I swore I heard Joni Mitchell singing.  But then I fell back asleep and woke up in time to see Steve Nash and Wayne Gretzky.  Unfortunately, our DVR stopped recording at exactly midnight and because of all the technical difficulties, we completely missed the cauldron lighting!  Jerry was really pissed and wanted 3 hours of his life back (he fast-forwarded through like half of it).  I remember Jerry dragging me to bed and I kept saying, did Joni Mitchell perform?  Did she?  And Jer was like, who the hell is Joni Mitchell?  Then we fell asleep.

Image via Washington Post

Saturday:
I woke and I still swore I heard Joni Mitchell last night and of course Jerry still has no clue what I'm talking about.  So I semi fast forwarded through all the parts I missed while sleeping and that's when I heard it-  "Both Sides Now" by Joni Mitchell!  I knew I wasn't crazy!!  However, Jerry thought I was dumb haha.  I was kind of disappointed that she didn't perform it live and instead it was just a recording with some dumb Peter Pan type dancing.  Man, I hope London took notes and ups their game.  Okay, so while this is happening, Jerry and I are also looking up flights for our honeymoon.  We called Quantas, Air New Zealand and Air Pacific (can you guess where we're going? :P ) and it turned out that Air Pacific had the best deals.  I called the local Air Pacific office back and 10 min later, we had our flights booked to...

Fiji and Australia!!

Image via Australia Escorted Tours

We'll be spending 1 week in Fiji and another week in Sydney.  Bad week = immediately ERASED.  We wouldn't have been able to do it w/o the generosity of Jer's parents, who gave us their timeshare points!  More on the honeymoon as we do more research!  I am so excited and I feel so lucky!

We then decided to celebrate by going to Elite to stuff our faces with dim sum.  Because we don't live close enough to do random weekend dim sum runs, we decided to order extra to bring home and freeze for future weekend snacking.  Our bill came out to be $75.  Yep.  People were blatantly turning around and staring at our table, haha.  Asians have no shame!  But I used some of the dim sum to make 3 lunches for myself (I'm a breakfast anytime sort of girl) and 3 breakfasts for Jerry for this week.  The rest of the dim sum is probably enough to satisfy our cravings for a handful more weekends sprinkled over the next few months.  So instead of spending $20 to go out for yum cha each time (not including gas), I can heat some up and it should do the trick.

We spent the rest of the day at my parents and had more yummy mom food and did all the Lunar New Year Eves stuffs.  I think it was Jerry's first time going through that.  It was nice to introduce him to some of our family traditions.  I thought that by bringing a non-Vietnamese person home, it would be harder, but Jerry has made the transition nearly effortless by his willingness and openness to go along with anything, whether it's in his comfort zone or not.  I'm really grateful for that.  

Sunday:
The next day we woke up super early to go to the temples with my parents.  I can't remember for the life of me if Jerry did the rounds of temples with me last year.  But this year since we went so early we found good parking and didn't have to deal with crowds.  (I don't particularly enjoy making my way through crowds of ppl b/c I'm always afraid I'll get poked by incense!)  My parents had plans to go to SD after we finished so we parted ways and finally went grocery shopping.  Then the moment came at last- I was able to try Cook's Tortas!  I had heard about this place for months now, but never got to try it b/c Elite always won out when it came to fooding on Atlantic.  I'll review Cook's in another post- but here's a preview:

Jerry's Valentines Day gift to me was doing my taxes for me.  I made him lunch for the whole week.  Very romantic, no?  :P

Monday:
Yesterday was not a holiday for me or Jerry but I thought I'd write about it anyway because of something that I finally experienced.  Work was work, and despite having a very easy and breezy commute (which went back to sour this morning) I still had a bit of a headache and I felt very tired when I came home.  We had been skipping out on workouts after the Superbowl 10K last week b/c we felt tired.  Okay, and lazy.  Today was our first day back and even though I could have taken it easy on the Precor, I decided to run.  And it felt GOOD!!  Even though I knew that working out even when tired or stressed boosts energy levels for many people, I never really experienced it for myself until yesterday.  So from now on, even when I feel like crap, I'm going to make an effort to work out anyway as scheduled.  Let's see how long I can keep it up.  Anytime I don't feel like working out even though I'm supposed to...I'll think back to yesterday and how awesome it felt!

What a brain dump!  I don't know if my future ones will be this long!

Designing the Ring, part 2

Here's part 1 in case you missed it!  Although it was just yesterday...

About 6 months after I first saw the Tacori ring, I went up north to celebrate the holidays with Jer's family.  We took a day trip to San Francisco.  At some point during the day I found myself super grumpy for some reason!  I don't remember why now haha.  Anyways to cheer me up, we happen to walk by a Tiffanys (of all stores, lol) so Jerry suggested that I try on some stuff.  We're actually inside Saks in this picture, and so Tiffany's is just down the street.  Geez, you'd think I'd take a picture of the outside of Tiffanys, but that didn't even occur to me!  So here's the next best thing. SF was so festive!

All along we had no intention of buying from them, but I sure as heck wasn't going to turn down an opportunity to milk the experience for what it was worth! :P  We had our camera with us, but felt self conscious about busting it out, so unfortunately I have no pictures! Boo.  At the time, I didn't really know much (okay nothing) about the 4 Cs and I didn't really care.  I just wanted to see how a ring looked on my finger for reals.  And oh boy was it fun!  I think I tried on a regular solitaire ring, a princess cut, and something that resembled a halo.  Though it was fun, I also felt SUPER intimated.  The lady was nice...but still.  I just didn't feel comfortable there.  But maybe that's just me! 
 
Anyhoo about a couple months later, we went to Robbins Brothers to try on the Tacori ring.  I still had my heart set on it, and I wanted to see how it was in person.  Before we went, we made sure the Torrance branch had the exact model that I wanted to try on.  And with the exception of the side views, I wasn't disappointed at all!  However, I was really disappointed by how sleazy our experience at Robbins Brothers was.  I think the place is great for what it is: a one stop shop to browse all different kinds of designs and rings.  You can try on a bunch of stuff, and you don't feel intimidated at all.  Their selection is decent.

  Image via Yelp

However, the sales people there were just so shady and gave off the ickiest vibe!  They said things like, oh you have to buy this particular one b/c it's the last one in the store and it's discontinued.  Well, here I am 12 months later, and my 2502RD65 model is still on the Tacori site!  Liar!  And then they gave this spiel about how Valentine's Day was just around the corner and wouldn't it be perfect occasion?  Umm...who gets engaged on Valentine's Day?  So cliche!  And then the sales guy proceeded to give Jerry like 4 different phone numbers and 2 email addresses in case "you need to reach me."  Uhhh, desperate much?  There were other things, but I don't remember.  All in all, it came down to gut feeling and there was no way we'd give them our business.

Alrighty, so a month or so later, we checked out Liberty Diamonds.  Why do I not have a picture of this place?  Found this on the internets.   

Image via City-Data

Jerry found it...I don't remember how.  Liberty Diamonds is a family owned operation based out of Orange County.  After meeting with them, we realized just how bad our Robbins Brothers experience was:

me: hey

  so today we went to another jeweler's in irvine

  and they were good!

  no bullshit or anything fake

6:38 PM 

but anyways we liked this place

  they aren't really sales ppl

  they told us, don't come here looking for a deal

6:42 PM you get what you pay for

  and they said their prices are competitive

  and they can custom make anything

  and we got to see some of the loose diamonds in a sarin machine!

  that was so neat

  jerry wants one

  haha

During that first meeting, we had no intention of buying anything.  We just wanted to see if it was a place that we could go back and give our business to.  At the time, I was about 2 weeks away from the last ever final of grad sch, moving out of my apt, moving into Jer's place, and finding a job, so the process of getting engaged wasn't on my mind at all.  (Okay I lied.  It was on my mind some of the times.  Not all the time!)  Plus Jerry and I agreed that we wouldn't get engaged until I found a full time job.  I didn't know it at the time, but being gainfully employed was a mere 1.5 months away.  (If I had known at the time, I would have spent those 6 weeks not stressing out.  Instead I was driving myself crazy.)  Okay, so during that visit, I tried on some rings and we finally learned about the 4 Cs.  We got to see what some loose diamonds looked like and we got an idea of price ranges for custom designs.  We had a better idea of what to expect for a custom ring.  Jerry wasn't sold yet, b/c he knew he could get the loose diamond for cheaper online (no tax, etc).  But by buying online, he wouldn't get to examine them closely.  So after that visit, we took some time off to think about it.

I started working and we got super busy.  We had an East Coast trip planned so there was no time to design or buy before our trip.  However, Jerry knew to GET ON IT b/c I wanted a fall wedding and needed at least a year to plan.  We gave up trying to shop around other places.  So after our trip we headed back to Liberty Diamonds, this time with the intention to start the process!    

To be continued!  Thanks for reading along!

Designing the Ring, Part 1

We got our wedding bands over the wknd and it reminded me that I've yet to talk about my engagement ring.  I'm going to break this up into a few parts, so here goes!

Jerry and I had talked about marriage very early on (before 6 months into dating I think).  The question was never if, but when.  At the time, I was still in grad school so getting engaged anytime before graduation would be out of the question.  However, that didn't mean that I couldn't look at rings! 

Although I wasn't planning for it, my search began while I was with my MOH at Tapioca Express two summers ago.  How the heck do I remember these things?  Enter saved google chats: 

me: i can't find the one [the middle one in the picture below] from my torn out ad though
[MOH] and i went to tap ex yesterdayand while waiting for our drinks

 BM S: hmm, maybe its from a different collection or past season?

 me: we were looking at mags

 BM S: ooo

 me: and i was looking at elle and just tore out the ad when i saw the shiny thing

10:04 PM no its this past may

  2008

  oh well

  yeah so i was bored today and i thought, what the hell let's google tacori

  and gasp

 Susan: hehe

Back in June 2008, my MOH and I were waiting for our drinks and I just happened to be flipping through the May 2008 copy of Elle magazine.  My eyes zoomed into this:

Image via Diamonds Direct South Park

I promptly tore out the ad and searched the internets high and wide for that ring.  Then I showed Jerry and he said he didn't like cushion cuts.  No matter!  I'll search for more and more!  After seeing the middle ring a whole new world opened up.  I started to realize that ring designs were far more intricate than I had ever imagined.  Words like halo, bezel, cushion cut, pave and princess cut entered my vocabulary.  More googling enabled me to discover brands and designers beyond the ubiquitous Tiffanys.  

I looked at many, many rings from Tacori (in fact all 177 of them):

Here were some that caught my eye:

Image via Tacori

I either wanted a more intricate setting (such as halo above) with a plain band, or a solitaire with an intricate band.

Image via Tacori

I also looked on Blue Nile as well.  This was pretty close to what I liked, but I didn't like the rounded band or the side view.  I did like the taper of the band on both sides coming up to the stone.  I can't seem to link to the side view, so you can check out the link below the image if you would like!  

Image via Blue Nile

But I kept going back to this one.  Can you guys see a pattern? :P  Halo/pave with unfinished edges!

Images above and below via Tacori

However, I wasn't really a fan of the side-view.  It was too busy, if you know what I mean.

So I went on Brilliant Earth and found this side view:

Image via Brilliant Earth

And I loved it!  With these images in hand, we headed to the jewelers of our choice, Liberty Diamonds, almost exactly a year later after I first saw the Tacori ring in the magazine.

But umm...let me back up.  So in the meantime, while I was busy googling and sharing links with everyone and their mom, we also hit up actual stores too.  

I'll get to that next in the series!

Please Allow Me to be Slightly Peeved

This post may ruffle some feathers- but I'm blunt in real life, so why shouldn't I be honest in my blog?

I don't think that Jerry and I have asked much of our bridal party  (at least not yet haha).  Besides giving the girls directions on how to find dresses on their own, pretty much the only thing we've asked for are the answers to 3 questions for our wedding website.  I had wanted to send out the save the dates (that included the link to the site) by the end of the year, or first thing in 2010. So on 10/21, I had sent out an email to the girls requesting the answers by 11/25.  Only 2 responded within a wk.  I never heard from the other 4 girls.  So me, trying to not be a naggy bride, I decide, well they must all be busy b/c of the holidays and finals, so I'll wait until after the holidays to remind them.  By then I had given up the idea of finishing the site by the end of the year, so I thought I'll send it first thing February.  On 1/14 I sent out another email, requesting the answers by 1/31.  Again, only 2 responses and again within a wk or so.  So today, 2/1, I still haven't heard from the remaining two girls, but how much more can I remind them?

Here's what I noticed.

The 2 that responded right away:  both have full time jobs.  When you work full time, you're wired to answer emails or calls immediately.  There's no waiting or procrastinating.  You answer things as they come in, you get it off your plate, and you move on.  There's no "later".

The 2 that responded the second time:  both are professional students.  You prioritize some things, you procrastinate on others.  I understand my wedding is not a priority, therefore, I expected some level of procrastination.  Having been a student myself, I understand that sometimes the last thing I would want to deal with are silly wedding questions when I have real life academic issues at hand.

The 2 that haven't responded:  both work part time and one attends school part time as well.  I know that my website is not the most important or pressing thing on the planet (hence I've given them over 2 months to answer 3 questions) but could they at least acknowledge that they intend to do it...eventually? But if I were to remind them again, would I be considered to be a naggy bride?  I've thought about asking them one on one to do it, but I feel like I shouldn't have to tell an adult 3 times to do something?  That maybe I should back off and give them space?  I don't want them to feel like I'm their mother and that I need to constantly tell them what to do.  (Growing up, the best way for my mom to get me to NOT do something would be for her to tell me to do it multiple times, haha.)

So should I:

1) Send yet another reminder?
2) Write it for them?
3) Send out the wedding website with missing information?

How is Jerry dealing with his groomsman?  Since he only got 2 responses so far, he's writing the rest on his own.  He's not peeved at all, but he's a boy.  I'm a girl.  That should explain it. :P  

But in the long run...all of this doesn't matter right?  The website will be done, the save the dates will be sent, and we will be married.  Eventually. 

But in the meantime, please allow me to be slightly peeved.

I will get over it sometime this week.  Or after I've had a cupcake.  Which ever comes first.