There are a lot of decisions to be made about the big W (wedding) but sometimes one forgets that there are matters regarding the big M (marriage) to be dealt with too. Because W decisions are made for that one day while M decisions should last a lifetime...
Such as: "Toilet seat up or down?"
Just kidding. A more serious decision I'm talking about is the name change. Questions come to mind:
Should only one person change their name?
Should both people hyphenate?
Should only one person hyphenate?
Should both people take on a whole new name?
Why should anyone change their name?
Etc, etc.
This is not an easy decision by many brides. Or grooms if you want to be PC. There are those who are really proud of their last name and the heritage that stems from it. Some brides/grooms keep their surname b/c of professional reasons. And some just don't like the sound of their first name combined with their proposed new last name. The reasons run the gamut and are all very real and valid!
But for every reason there is to not take on a new last name, there's another reason to do it. Here's mine:
1. I'm tired of people mispronouncing my last name or asking me for the nth time how do I pronounce it. Been going on all on my life, and I don't see the trend changing either. Jer's last name is so easy to pronounce!
2. I'm not particularly attached to my last name. In fact, my last name was supposed to be Ly/Lee/Le or something like that, except my dad took his mom's last name so if you were to get all technical with lineage I've been carrying around the "incorrect" last name all my life.
3. I want us and our future kids to have the same last name as a family.
4. I don't like how it looks hyphenated.
5. This is vain, but my first name sounds good with Jer's last name! :P
So, it was a relatively easy decision on my part. No real moral or personal struggles. It's what you make of it- it made sense for me on my end. Good thing, b/c I already have enough on my plate!
PS. Thank goodness his last name isn't a jumble of letters like that volcano in Iceland.
PPS. If it was...I think I would still change it. Reason #3 outweighs all the other reasons for me personally!
6 comments:
i agree!
not to mention that some other j.n. has majorly messed-up credit, which sometimes gets transposed onto your credit report.
Really? You're a Lee/Ly? That means we're from the same tribe haha. My friends last year gave me a business card holder as a graduation gift with "Stella Sung" engraved on it. I guess I can't disappoint my friends but now my name will sound more Korean than ever...
I'm with you. The whole #3 thing is what made the deal for me, too. I didn't want my kids asking me why they didn't have the same last name as me...
I'm keeping mine. Vietnamese women have always traditionally kept their last names so it doesn't matter whether my last name would be the same as my kids. Or the kids get both the parents' last names, not hyphenated, just two last names. In such a patriarchal society, I like that it's one of the few signs of women's independence. Plus, I like my name. :)
I should also say I don't mind using my husband's name for social situations and have no problem with the kids having his name, I just prefer to keep my own.
My mom kept hers and it was only when we went through immigration that they automatically tacked my dad's last name onto hers. She didn't like that.
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