Agree to Disagree?

My cousins and I don't really talk "deep" so once in a while it's nice to have a real conversation with them, albeit over email. Don't mind the off-grammar too much, most of my cousins weren't born here so they started going to US schools when they were in middle/high school. Most of them went to Cal States though and are very successful people in their careers so in no way do I look down on them for not going to a university or for not having the best grammar.

It all started when Cousin A sent an email out with this link:
http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1815820715?bctid=1822459319

I replied with this:
How are you all voting when it comes to prop 8?

I'm voting against it. In my opinion, public education of children has nothing to do with same sex marriages. Would love to hear your opinions!

Cousin B said:
Phuong,

Have U seen the clip of the address attached. I would like to know ur opinion.

I said:
Yeah I saw it. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with same sex marriage and I would have no problems with my future children being exposed to any type of diversity in schools- diversity in race, ethnicity, gender, SES, and as this video is saying, LGBT couples. I think to deny same sex couples the opportunity to get married and be entitled to the same benefits as other couples b/c I'm worried about my children's education is a long stretch and not a very strong argument. I have concerns about my children getting proper education, I just don't think that them learning about diversity in any shape or form is going affect them negatively. Kids are going to be exposed to everything when they're in schools: some of the little kids in our family have already learned profanity at a young age and we know they were not learned at home. So again, to argue for prop 8 b/c of education to me is not a valid or convincing point. But when you are running a campaign, you will find all sorts of ways to try to convince people, and so of course they are going to tug at the heartstrings of parents by trying to make the association btwn public ed and same sex marriages.

Though I may not agree with it, I respect everyone's opinions, and if some ppl think that same sex marriage is wrong, that's their thoughts, I'm not out to change their minds. But just because some parents think same sex marriage is wrong, they may be able to pass on that sentiment to their kids when they are young, but when they are old enough to decide for themselves I hope that parents will respect their thoughts and beliefs.

You ask for my thoughts, what about yours?

Cousin B said:
Yes, I got your points. But are U concerns about your kids who probably rise in an normal environment that will expose in the same marriages that may cause he/she thinks it's o.k to become one.

One thing that I would like to add is that human has been evolving with its environment based on history (climate and what have you). People will evolve as environment evolves.

I hope the word evolution rings a bell.

After I read that, I nearly choked.

Then I said:
Even though you never clearly stated your stance, I'm guessing you're voting for prop 8.

That's fine if you are voting for it b/c you believe same sex marriages are wrong and should not be legal- I respect your beliefs even if I don't agree with it. But don't base your vote on heresay that your children's education will be negatively impacted if it passes. Believe me, for LAUSD same sex ed is the LEAST of their priorities. Kids can't read or do math at their grade level (I once tutored a 6th grader who could not divide), their knowledge of science is years behind other countries such as Japan and India, and there is such emphasis on state testing that some schools are even cutting time for physical education (PE). I'm not sure how other school districts are, esp in OC, but if I was a school administrator, I would direct my funding to areas where my students are lacking. If these people are so concerned about their children's education, they need to redirect their energies to improve education where it counts and not waste time, money, and effort on linking same sex marriage to education.

Cousin B said:
Yes, because it has not officially implemented. If same marriage is allowed to be taught in school and accepted in our society. You will see our society evolves. Keep in mind the word EVOLUTION. It will evolve if society accepts it.

I said:
If one were to wait for evolution to come around to change society's mindset, then one would wait in vain forever for blacks and whites to share the same rights to education and even drinking from the same water fountain, (there is still deep rooted racism in the south- so should people who live there, in the not so liberal areas, wait for evolution to change the way people are treated unfairly?). One would also wait forever for the right of interracial couples to marry (I'm referring to Loving vs. Virginia)- evolution did not have a hand in this, a Supreme Court ruling did. Also, non-whites and women would not be able to vote: it was not evolution that granted them the right, it was policy and community organizing.

If we are going to have our children grow up in an environment of tolerance and diversity with the understanding that people and families come in different shapes, varieties, and make up, we cannot wait or depend on evolution. Policies need to be passed to evoke change not just in mind, but in practice.

While some parts of America and the world are quite liberal, the rest of the states/countries are still very narrow-minded. It would be passive of us to rely on evolution rather than education to address inequalities.

Cousin B said:
Yes, there is still racial involved. But do you see a black person is about to become the president of the United States. Is that evolution?

I said:
I disagree. It's not because of evolution that we FINALLY have a non-white presidential nominee (he's actually half white/half black). It's because of those people who have worked endlessly to pass legislation, and even died (MLK) in order to promote civil rights for everyone. Evolution is not the answer or solution. Being passionate and working hard will effect change in mind and practice to reduce inequalities more so than evolution ever will. And that is why I refuse to sit back and be passive.

Cousin B said:
The word evolution means gradually change. It doesn't matter if his ancestry is half African-American and Caucasian. All I know is that his grandmother is still lived in Kenya. Regardless, his complexity is African-American and we all accept that is the fact. From slavery, nobody at that time can imagine that society will accept all races will be accepted equal to the present day that an African-American soon to be the president of the United States. I just want to draw an analogy that once we accept it in society. It will change and it will take time to change as like the slavery in the United States once the law is imposed.

Cousin A said:
Here's my 2 cents.
I have no problem of people choosing same sex marriage. It's their choice and they are old enough to make the choice. You can call me old fashioned, but I don't want my kids to be taught that same sex marriage is normal at a young age. The school can have it as part of the education, but probably for HS or colleage level in socialogy or something. When my kids are old enough to make the decision and choose same sex marriage, will I support it? Of course, NO. Can I do anything about it? Probably not much. Do I still love my kids? Yes, I will always love them, but it doesn't mean I will support every decision they make.

We will all have to decide what's important to us.

Cousin C said:
i'm not voting this time but just to voice my opinions, i feel that everyone should have the choice to lead their lives the way they want. The term "marriage" should be able to be interpreted freely by everyone. As for my stance on prop 8, i'm neutral. (he's 19 and I'm not even going to there with the whole you're old enough to vote but you don't?!! issue with him)

I talked to Cousin D on the phone earlier and she was like...I'm staying out of this one!

*edit*
Here's my response from this morning:
Here is an article that might interest you:

http://www.dailynews.com/ci_10621406

If you scroll down, here is what a rep for LAUSD said:

Judy Chiasson of the Los Angeles Unified School District's Office of Human Relations and Diversity said the district board voted unanimously against Proposition 8.

"We cannot support a proposition that promotes divisiveness and inequality," she said.

She dismissed arguments by initiative supporters that children would be taught about same-sex marriage in kindergarten. Those students learn shapes and colors and are taught to be nice to each other, not about who their parents should or shouldn't be, she said.

Here is another article:

http://opinion.latimes.com/opinionla/2008/08/what-same-sex-m.html

The only problem is that everything about this argument isn't just specious, it's just wrong.

According to curriculum experts with the state Department of Education, Section 51890 of the Education Code -- the section cited by the Proposition 9 camp because it calls for teaching children about the legal and financial responsibilities of marriage -- is not a requirement for schools. It's an expected part of instruction for school districts that want a state-funded health curriculum.

Things fall apart more when you get to the kindergarten thing. There is nothing in the Education Code about the age at which children should learn about marriage.

Now, knowing that your children will not be learning about those issues at a young age, would you vote for prop 8 anyway, even if you support same sex marriage?

I know that as a parent, you are concerned about their education and welfare and since I'm not a parent yet, I may not fully understand your intentions to protect your kids. But when you vote, please do your research and separate fact from heresay. Please remember, when you are voting on prop 8, you are voting for or against the right of same-sex couples to marry. Again, it's not about your kid's education!

Okay, let's see what they say.

*end edit*

I haven't responded yet to the latest emails...but I think I've made my pt. Maybe my cousins think that b/c I'm not a parent that I don't understand...but I've talked to two parents today and they are not in support of prop 8 either. Maybe my family is more traditional than those parents whom I talked to today. Anyways at least it's nice to know what's on their minds even if we totally disagree. It just sucks that I'm in the minority here and that no one else in my family is backing me up. It makes me sad to think that if one of their children came out, that their parents might not give them the support they need b/c it's so obvious that they're against it. Parents who strive to teach their kids diversity and tolerance need to practice what they preach. I hate the whole "I support same-sex marriage...as long as it doesn't happen to my family." A bit hypocritical, but I'm not surprised of this mentality. Anyways, just fodder for thought. I know that some of you lurk my blog but don't leave comments so it would be nice to hear your thoughts if you have any. Better to think on one side or the other rather than not think at all, I feel.